THE  SOCK-DRAWER  SYNDROME

            Margaret's getting divorced.  Her soon-to-be ex-husband is playing games with the settlement and the kids, she's having to move into a smaller house, and now her insurance is changing right before a minor surgery. So she cleans the kitchen floor even though it doesn't need it, and attacks the messy garage with a vengeance.

            Is your house clean?  Is your sock drawer neat and tidy? If not, you may need a little crisis in your life. When life gets out of control, or when chaos hits, many people find themselves tackling tasks that previously inhabited the permanent to-do list.  Margaret gets a divorce, and her kitchen has never been so spotless.  Carol loses her job and suddenly finds herself spending hours planting flowers in her back yard.  This "Sock-Drawer Syndrome" can be adaptive or harmful, depending upon its function. 

SOCKS AS THERAPY

            Sometimes when life is truly out of our control, we search for rituals and tasks allowing us to regain a lost sense of mastery over our world.  When Margaret realizes she cannot control the actions of her soon-to-be ex-husband, she finds herself cleaning, sweeping, mopping, and disinfecting at midnight.  This gives her a sense of control when life is out of control, and reduces her tension. She accomplishes a small task when it may be impossible to change the major events of her life as a healing ritual and reminder of her efficacy.  For women especially, the urge to clean or organize your home environment is often symbolic of trying to do the same with the internal environment, which

            If Margaret has done everything in her power to stabilize the chaos, but it continues, organizing the sock drawer functions as an adaptive declaration of her ability.  But if she has not thoroughly investigated and worked through her options, the Sock-Drawer Syndrome may be harmful, as in the case of Carol.

THE TROUBLE WITH SOCKS

            Carol loses her job, and spends so much time on the backyard, she remains unemployed longer and uses up her savings.  The trouble with this phenomenon is the denial factor.  It's comforting and rewarding to accomplish this gardening task, but spending all her energy on side issues won't get Carol to her ultimate goal of finding a new job.  Hopes, dreams and even daily necessities can be killed by over-attending to the small demands in life.

            Most people who experience this form of denial report being extremely uncomfortable with anger, fear, or sadness.  They are experiencing these emotions, yet medicating them away by concentrating on the pleasant feelings associated with small accomplishments.  Medicating feelings away leads to their building up, resulting in anger outbursts, crying jags, or panic attacks.  If Carol turns toward those uncomfortable emotions she may realize she can feel and function.

WHAT AM I DOING?

We all may at times organize or accomplish as a way to feel effective in an out-of-control situation, and organize or accomplish to avoid some more pressing issue.  The following questions will help to educate yourself on how you use the "Sock-Drawer Syndrome" in your own life:

- What can I control? 

- Do I spend adequate time moving toward my goals in areas under my control?

- What can I not control?

- Am I trying to control these areas anyway? How?

- Do I use activity to numb out or medicate?

- Do I use activity to feel competent when I know I've done all I can?

When life hits hard or you're feeling out of control, watch and discover how you use the small tasks to your advantage or disadvantage. Happy folding!

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