(The following is one of the exercises from Megan Johntz’ workshop on Healthy Divorcing. For more information, contact Megan at 314.378.3384 or email Megan@PsychToolBox.com.)

DIVORCE

The following basic information on divorce seems full of negatives. But there are some positives -- it depends on what you do with it.

>     Divorced men and women have higher incidences of psychological difficulties, accidental death, and death from cardiovascular disease, cancer, pneumonia, and cirrhosis of the liver.

>     The suicide rate for divorced or separated women is almost three and a half times greater.

>     Divorced adults' households are considerably more disorganized.

>     Divorced parents don't communicate as well with the children, show less affection, and discipline inconsistently.

>     Divorce trauma is greatest for older women, who have been married longer, have two or more children, whose husband initiated the divorce, and who still have positive feelings toward their husbands or want to punish them.

>     Fathers usually see their children as much right after the divorce, but quickly drop off.

>     Women tend to see that the marriage is not working about ten years prior to its actual breakup, whereas men become aware of the marital distress on average three years before the divorce.

>     Women report a greater awareness of the problems within a marriage, which may explain why most divorces today are instigated by the female.

>     Young divorced people, especially females, report a greater sense of independence and self-esteem once they adjust to the divorce.

>     Divorced individuals are more likely to divorce again as compared to those in first marriages.

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