Transforming Negativity in the Workplace

TRANSFORMING NEGATIVITY

In the Workplace

The following is a short excerpt of the outline from Megan Johntz’s workshop on Transforming Negativity for corporations and organizations wanting to improve their most valuable commodity - their people.

For more information on the Transforming Negativity Workshop or Keynote, contact Megan Johntz at 314.378.3384, or Megan@PsychToolBox.com.

"The boy will come to nothing."

- Jakob Freud concerning his son Sigmund

"He made a great mistake when he gave up pitching. Working once a week, he might have lasted a long time and become a great star."

- Manager of the Cleveland Indians, Tris Speaker, concerning

Babe Ruth

"You ain't goin' nowhere... son. You ought to go back to drivin' a truck."

- Jim Denny, manager of the Grand Ole Opry when firing

Elvis Presley after a performance in 1954

Effects of negativity:

Physical

headaches

backaches

stomachaches

itching

cold hands and feet

muscle tension

exhaustion

illness

Mental

irritability

forgetfulness

difficulty concentrating

depression

panic attacks

forgoing dreams and aspirations

poor self-esteem

Behavioral

increased smoking

increased drinking

increased eating

increased drug use

poor eye-contact

poor productivity

absenteeism

increased arguments

lack of creativity

apathy

Where it comes from:

family issues

good economy

bad economy

jealousy

competition

low self-esteem

pressured culture

How it spreads:

mutual pathologies

hierarchical systems

hypnosis / norms

defenselessness

THEM

(Understanding that Negative Person)

"Critics are the unpaid watchmen of my soul."

- E. Stanley Jones, author of The Way

"To avoid criticism do nothing, say nothing, be nothing."

- Eleanor Roosevelt

Tool #1:

Understand the mind of the negative person:

Often believe their criticism is helpful

Often motivated by a simple desire to solve problems

Often feel it is their duty to find something wrong

Some see their criticism as merely 'letting it all hang out',

'being real', or 'expressing emotions'.

Many were raised to be critical, apathetic, or confrontational.

Some will create negativity if none exists.

I think ___________________________ does what she/he does,

because __________________________________________________

(AKA: Why doesn’t everyone have a problem with that person?)

Mental filters (counteract using Cognitive Restructuring tools)

Experiment:

The most negative kind of people to me are:

______________________________________________________________

To me, conflict means:

______________________________________________________________

My average response to negativity is:

______________________________________________________________

My preferred response to negativity is:

______________________________________________________________

TOOLS

Cognitive restructuring

read your head to find the lie

find the opposite / evidence

bombard your system with the new (the truth)

Face the critic within

unknown double standard

seeing yourself in others is uncomfortable

Wear their shoes

background information

assumptions

Try not to lose twice

lose the gem

learn about ourselves

Paraphrase

calming & clarifying

practice so no parroting

Permission to tune-out

3-Critic Rule

hip-pocket phrases

"I'm sorry you feel that way."

"Sounds like we have very different views on this."

"Thanks for letting me know what you think."

"I'm not willing to do that."

"Unfortunately, that's not a priority for me."

"I hear what you're saying."

My own hip-pocket phrases:

______________________________________________________________

Use your support system

de-toxing

sort the information into major and minor

Verbal Judo (Pollyanna Warfare)

point-counterpoint

internal protection

Schedule negativity

built in

strategic flow

Hunt for the positives

search for them - they are there

set the tone - infect them

Go with the 'We can't..."

gather information

ask for their reversal

SCENARIO #1

"We can't get that report out by Friday."

"We can't?"

"No."

"Well it has to be done."

"There's no way."

"I don't care what it takes, just get it done by Friday at 5:00."

SCENARIO #2

"We can't get that report out by Friday."

"We can't?"

"No."

"What's blocking it?

"Well, X, Y, and Z."

"Hmmm. That's a good problem. I wonder what we could do?" (Strategic silence and/or "What's your best hunch?")

"Well, I might be able to A, B, or C, but it would take

more money."

"Good solutions. I like what you said about B, because that would definitely get the report done by Friday. Like you, I'm concerned about the hit to our budget."

"Yeah."

"How can we keep the benefits of B, while reducing the risk of going over budget?" (Strategic silence.)

"I don't know."

"Would you give it some thought, and get back to me..."

"Do you have 5 minutes to get a cup of coffee and brainstorm some options...?"

"Let's both come up with 3 ideas and get together again at..."

"I'm sure we can find a better solution than just having to force it down our throats."

Soft-spots

self-knowledge

boundaries

What areas of your life are off limits:

at work?

with negative people?

with the family you grew up in?

with your family now?

with friends?

with strangers?

Boundaries - hip pocket phrases:

"You may critique what I do, but please don't tell me how to improve my marriage." (You may X, but not Y.)

"Right now, that's not an area I want to discuss."

"That's a real soft spot for me. I'd appreciate it if we could change the subject."

"That's an issue I need to solve myself."

"Would you be willing to/willing not to..."

Nonverbals

eye-contact

posture

facial expression

Changing the subject

picking a new topic

cultural factors

When all else fails, duck!

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