PLOP,  PLOP,  FIZZ,  FIZZ

(Relief for conflicts in the workplace)

            Often when in a conflict, our heads go blank, and we think of a productive response three hours later. Or some of us say harmful things we wish we could take back. So I’ve created a list of some of the most seasoned sentences when dealing with difficult people. Pick a few that fit with your personality, and quite literally memorize them. If you don’t, chances are when in the heat of the moment, you’ll revert back to what you normally do. We all go back to more primitive behavior or habits (see the seminar on Mastering Your Habits), when we’re under stress.

These phrases can be kept in the hip pocket of your head, to be pulled out whenever you need them.

WHEN YOU NEED TO EMPATHIZE

I know what that's like.

I'm so sorry you feel (think) that way.

Thanks for letting me know your opinion.  Looks like we disagree on this one.

You sound (look) frustrated. How can I help?

WHEN YOU'RE NOT BEING HEARD

I'm sorry, let me make myself a little more clear...

It looks like I'm not explaining myself very well...

We're not connecting (clicking) here...

What is most important to you? What's most important to us is _______________

WHEN THE FACTS DON'T FIT

I'm confused, can you help me understand _____________

Help me out here, how can X and Y exist together?

You're saying X, and Y?

WHEN YOU WANT TO CLEAN UP COMMUNICATION

I think you're saying....

Are you saying...

You believe...

Your opinion is...

WHEN YOU NEED TO SOLVE A PROBLEM

If you were going through this same situation, what would you do?

What do you think we can do within these parameters?

What solutions have we not thought of yet?

Let's get creative: what if (alter restrictions)?

WHEN YOU WANT TO GIVE CREDIT

I like what you said about X, what if we (changed it a little)?

What you said about X makes me think. What if we...

I like your X, however I'm concerned about Y. How can we retain X, and eliminate Y?

WHEN YOU NEED TO SAY NO

Unfortunately, X isn't an option because of Y.

I wish we could do that too.

If we did that then (find the cost to them and you).

That's a good idea. Would you mind if I passed it along to my supervisors?

WHEN THEY NEED TO HEAR THE BENEFITS OF DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU

I'm glad we were able to help each other.

We're here to (specific value you add).

That's why you pay us.

My job is to (value you add), and I like it when we're able to accomplish that.

One of the best ways we can help you is...

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